Our flight to London was delayed for reasons described as Technical Difficulties. Now as most people know, I am a person with frequent fears of flying and the word Technical Difficulties sends my head into a tail spin. I was about to board the plane first, as I was seated near the back in row 34D. I watch that programme Air Crash Investigation to study where my best chance of survival is in case of emergency, and I’ve come to the conclusion that being at the back is the best. If the plane goes into a nose dive, you’re ok. Or if it breaks up in the middle your ok too. Lots of positives for sitting at the back. Anyway, I was about to set foot on the plane when the DAA guy says to the queue forming behind me,
“You’ll have to wait. We’re not ready for you to board yet. There’s a small problem with fuelling the aircraft.”
“A problem with fuelling an aircraft doesn’t sound like a small problem to me,” I said.
He smiled at me –though my husband said it wasn’t a smile because only one side of his mouth turned up, and I shouldn’t say things like that.
“But it hardly inspires confidence,” I argued and the only thing being fuelled at that moment was my anxiety.
Mr DAA man came back a few minutes later to say that the fuelling problem was due to a computer problem and they were trying to fix it.
“How long will that take?” I asked my computer expert of a husband.
“How long is a piece of string,” he answered.
That’s his usual answer when I ask him how long it might take to sort out my computer problems. I was wound up now and that makes me chatty.
“I mean we’re not talking about losing a couple of files off my old laptop are we?” I asked. “I mean computers crash and then . . .” He wouldn’t let me finish. Sometimes he pretends he’s not with me.
I texted the family and told them all about the Technical Difficulties in case they needed to know for insurance purposes and in case someone tried to say it was ‘just an unfortunate accident’ and to save the investigation team time looking for the black box and flight data recorder in the middle of the sea.
Himself was losing patience and said he was going to ban me from watching Air Crash Investigation. I believe him because he banned me from watching Desperate Housewives . . . and that was just because I said something about needing a gardener. But that’s another story.